2010 a year of learning and growing!

This coming week my experience here in Saudi changes. Since Jan 14, 2010 until now (December 3, 2010), I've been living here without my wife and kids. I haven't been completely alone because I live with two roommates who have been my quasi-family, but as far as having my "own family" here, its been just me. On Wed the 8th of December my wife and kids will join me here in the KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia). Being alone has given me an opportunity to do a lot of thinking, reflecting and growing,  at least I hope I've grown somewhat.

I always knew that my life would eventually end up with me doing some sort of international work, but I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd end up in the Middle east let alone Saudi Arabia. This is truly an interesting land and people. But I'll save that blog for another day.

Over the last year I've experienced some of my life's highest highs and lowest lows, but none of those lows have been worse than the lows of 2009. That's a year I NEVER want to repeat.

What have I learned:

I've worked harder than I've ever worked before. I've done new things that I never thought I'd do. I've learned things about my career and myself that I never knew or even imagined. I've gained weight for the first time in 25 yrs. I have a soft mid-section like never before. I have had a full beard for the first time in my life. I've faced professional challenges that have hardened me and at the same time made me stronger and better at my business. I've come to realize that I have a lot to learn in my own progress. I've had to re-examine my faith and my beliefs, and I'm grateful to my friends Steve, Steve, Dan and Sean for making me stop, look, listen and learn. I've seen friends come and go. I've faced some tough conversations that I thought I'd never face. I've come to miss my old training career but I haven't regretted leaving it. I've forgiven people for things they never even knew they did wrong to me and I've forgiven myself for things that were weighing on my shoulders for far too long. I have solidified my love for my adopted hometown of Bellingham, WA and I've come to see my first hometown  of Salt Lake City, UT as a place that I love and cherish but I don't want to go back to. I've become a long term investor in property and at the same time I've pretty much divested myself of most of my life's possession. Actually my wife did most of that, but in the end we don't "own" many "things" anymore. Except for my tool box..........I'm NOT giving that up. :-) I have had the blessing of getting to know a group of people from the Philippines that have shown me the wonderful people that come from the Philippines. Sulpicio De La Cruz is just one of the prime examples. What a wonderful man who has taught me more than you or he could imagine. I've come to realize that I can survive and move forward despite of myself. If you know me, you know I'm somewhat of an immature clown at times and that makes some people think I'm actually younger than I am. They have said, "you need to grow up". LOL

I know like never before that my wonderful partner, best friend, wife, lover, and eternal companion is the best part of my life. The two children that grace our life are truly gifts from God. My belief in God and in certain eternal concepts has been solidified.

Now this journey, is no longer my journey. Its now "our" journey. Mine, Cheryl's, Max's and Olivia's. I was the same age as Max and Olivia when I went to live in South America for the first time and so I know what awaits them. I'm excited, scared, and ready.

2010 has been a great year. I've learned and I've grown. I'm ready and willing to take on 2011.

Bring it on!

Where's the Love?

I recently received a few e-mails that were labled “Important”, “Interesting” or “Must ‎Pass On”. They were from people that I trust and love and I’m 100% sure they were sent ‎with my safety and others safety in mind. These people are not racists or bigots except ‎they, like all of us, have blind spots that they might now know about or understand. I took ‎the content of the emails with a grain of salt because they were somewhat emotionally ‎charged and targeted towards a group of people that I’ve come to know and love. If you ‎can’t figure it out, I’m talk about the Muslims and Saudi people. I want to take a minute ‎and tell you what kinds of people the Saudis are give you a little room for pause. ‎


The 9/11 Hijackers came from Saudi Arabia. Osama Bin Laden is Saudi. The Khobar ‎Tower Bombings were done by Saudis. Does that make all Saudis bad people? NO!!! ‎These people were a radical few that DO NOT represent all of the Saudis. If you believe ‎that they represent all Saudis then you must believe that Tim Mcvey, the Unibomber, ‎George Bush and Barrack Obama represent all Americans in their way of thinking, and ‎the last time I checked, I belive that most Americans believe that Tim McVey was a nut ‎case, the Uni-Bomber is a lone freak and let’s not even talk about George and Barry!‎

Two weeks ago I went and had an evening with a new friend who took me to hang out ‎with some of his friends and watch soccer and eat. You couldn’t find a better group of ‎guys. Young, intelligent, curious, open minded value based, forward thinking and ‎desirous to learn. I had to leave early and they all asked why I wasn’t staying for dinner. ‎They wanted to feed me and wanted to keep talking. We laughed, we talked religion ‎‎(they didn’t call me an infadel or a damed soul), they asked me about my faith they ‎accepted me for who I was and didn’t judge me based on Barry or George. We shared ‎values and ideas about family, life and God. I can tell you we didn’t agree on everything, ‎but they brought me into their home and welcomed me. Who could ask for more?‎

Another example of the wonderful people that I live amongst!‎

I had the opportunity to work with a group of employee’s for a full straight week from ‎every corner of the Kingdom. They were so hungry for good knowledge and they were so ‎ready for the knowledge that when the time came to learn they learned. They didn’t judge ‎the instructor because I was American! They didn’t hate me because I spoke English and ‎no Arabic. They welcomed me into their midst and accepted me and asked me to teach ‎them. They are 100% my equals. I’m not better than them and they are not better than ‎me, but together we are better because of the experience. ‎

I work directly with three Muslims who are the most wonderful example of true God ‎fearing men, who love their families and strive to live a good life. They are very much ‎like us in that they are worried every day about their kids, their spouse, their ability to ‎make a living for them, their future and their eternal progression and more. ‎

These people speak a different language and practice a different religion but they are not ‎that different from us. So here is my challenge to you. Stop watching the news and ‎believing what the the Media or our Government tells us about Muslims. They are good ‎people. Stop reading and then passing on the non-sense that we hear about Muslims and ‎the Middle East. We are falling victim to the same trap that many Saudi’s are falling for. ‎Over here you see people who look at pictures of war, which invovlve mutilated bodies, ‎dead families and much more and they believe that it was/is the US military because that ‎is what the Media tells them. Come on how silly is that. Get out and start making friends ‎with the Muslims you know, greet those from the Middle East with an open heart not a ‎skeptical heart. Let’s help them rescue their own religion that has been hijacked by ‎radicals just like what the Christian fanatics would like to do to us. ‎

For those of you who are saying, “Evan’s gone crazy”, I’m still a proud American. I still ‎love my country, am firm in my faith and yes I’m still conservative in my beliefs and I’m ‎not a Barry follower. LOL, but I’m also getting away from the media that is so ‎calculating and I’m talking about all sides even my favorite media outlets. Wow what an ‎admission. LOL

Well if you are still reading, then you found some sense to what I was saying. I hope to ‎see you again on this blog. ‎

Ev

You know they always say that you don't value what you have until you are away from it for awhile, and that is true. I learned this week that someone I valued very much has gone away. My cat Truman. He was old, big and wonderful. He was my best furry buddy. I loved that cat because that cat loved me and we had an understanding between the two of us. I loved him because he would cuddle to me no matter what and was always ready to play with me.
It sounds cheesy that a grown man would talk that way about his cat, but Truman was different. He was truly my best little friend. The pain runs deep at his loss, but it is part of life. The only thing I wish is that I could have been there with him when it all ended for him and he went on to the next life. I'm that cheesy guy who given the chance would bury my cat in a carefully chosen plot with a marker. Yup I'm that guy.
Since I couldn't be there with him and since I didn't get to see him one last time, I'm just posting this as a way to aire out my thoughts. I've cried like a little boy the last two nights, much the same way I did when I lost my dog a few years back. But I've got the tears out, so on with life.

Truman, I love you my best little furry buddy. I'll see you again some day with Stein.

Oasis in the Desert

The past few weeks have given me an opportunity to see things and learn about things ‎that I never would have imagined in my life. We are always so caught up in the run of life ‎that we often forget to value the things that are most beautiful and wonderful and that are ‎at our door steps.‎


I recently went to the world’s largest oasis in the desert town of Hofuf in the county of ‎Al-Hasa in the Eastern Province of Saudi Arabia. What a wonderful sight and what a ‎wonderful trip.‎

http://worldsnaturalwonders.com/2008/12/al-hasa-oasis-worlds-largest-oasis.html

An oasis is a small fertile or green area in a desert region, usually having a spring or well ‎and often it’s also a place that serves as a refuge, relief or needed/pleasant change from ‎the usual. ‎

As I went around on a tour of Al-Hasa I was able to see things like the Al-Hasa museum, ‎the famous Ibrahim Castle, the Alqarah Mountain, Alhasa National Park, and Alshoaabah ‎Mountain and not to mention I saw more date trees than you could shake a stick at. I ‎toured some private date farms, learned about the Turkish soldiers who stayed in ‎Ibrahim’s castle, saw the age old graffiti that they left on the walls not to mention the ‎prison that they put people in (you don’t want to go there). Our party went to 2 private ‎receptions and was greeted by dignitaries and important people of Al-Hasa and Hofuf. I ‎was a tag along, but still got the royal treatment. ‎

After we went to 2 private farms and I tasted some of the best food I’ve ever had not to ‎mention saw some of the coolest art/decorations that I’ve ever seen. All this at an oasis ‎that pops up in the middle of the desert in Saudi Arabia! This got me thinking. ‎

As I mentioned earlier, an Oasis is a refuge or place to escape. What is the Oasis that you ‎have in your life? ‎

I was talking to my wife the other day and she said that my son was on the deck of the ‎lake by our home just sitting there relaxing and enjoying the afternoon and I thought, ‎‎“he’s in his own little oasis” We often forget that we need a place to escape and to go to ‎when all else around us is driving us goo goo. Al-Hasa is a little oasis in the desert, but ‎you don’t need to come to Saudi to have your own oasis. ‎

The area down south reminded me of Southern Utah and Goblin Valley, Arches National ‎Park area. What a wonderful Oasis that we have there in Utah. I thought of Baker Mtn ‎and the lakes around Whatcom Country in WA. What a wonderful oasis we have in WA. ‎There are so many, I’m just thinking we ought to visit them a bit more often. ‎



Ev

The People, the Work......................still the same.

Salam-Alekum (Peace be upon you) from Riyadh Saudi Arabia

You answer Wa' Alekum Salam (And upon you peace)

I always imagined that working in another country would be somehow different. I don’t mean the language and cultural differences, but that somehow the people would be different, the space would seem different, the environment would change, but you’d be surprised at how quickly you realize that it’s not all that different.

My work environment is very similar and very much like what you would fine in the States. Sure there are differences with some of the cultural aspects, but people are still people who face the same struggles as we do. I still wear a tie and a dress shirt to the office while most of my Arabian colleagues wear a “thobe” (the traditional long shirt/dress that we see them wearing) and the head dress along with sandals. This is their traditional accepted dress standard for work and they wear it with pride. To be honest it looks very practical and very comfortable. I am the one that sticks out like a sore thumb because I’m the one dressed in western cloths. My cubical is like any other cubical in an office with a internet connection etc… Not all that different.

As a Leadership Coach, I am working to identify HiPo (High Potential) candidates who after being assessed are the top of their groups. There are 30,000 employees and out of those there are around 200 who have been nominated and who are being assessed by me and 7 of my colleagues. We sit and talk to them in a conference room that is very similar to any conference room you would find in any major city in the states. We talk with them and role play with them about work situations and ideas and they are just like you and I. They get nervous, clammy hands, stutter through their words, even forgetting words in their own language due to nerves. We offer them the opportunity to carry out the assessment in the preferred language of English or if needed in Arabic. I give them 100% credit because they usually work hard to accommodate me so that I’ll understand their desire to be part of this program. I admire and respect them for this effort. I’m trying to get Arabic started and I’ll tell you that it’s not an easy language. Today I had a candidate who had a speech impediment in Arabic and it was obvious in his English, but he didn’t skip a beat. It must have been hard to deal with that impediment and try to speak a foreign language, but he did AWESOME. He was/is an inspiration.

So what is different about working here? How is the environment different? Well there’s not much to report on the “different” side. People are people no matter where they are. I have deal with all the same types of personalities that you would think I would deal with in the same type of work in any other place. I have found that when you get past the media spin, the political drama and the typical silly arrogant prejudice that we see on every side, you find that the people are the same and the work is still the same no matter where you go.

Until next time

Ma’ Salam (Goodbye)

Evan

Mom Still Matters Even in Saudi!

I’ve been working the last two days doing interview assessments with the “HiPo” or high potential candidates for Saudi Electricity Company. These are the top 200 or so candidates out of 30,000 employees who have been nominated by their superiors to be accepted into the HiPo program for leadership coaching and developing. I still have a full 6 days of evaluation to perform on a total of 30 more candidates and my team is just one of 6 teams doing this work.

As I sit in assessment of these candidates who are talented, gifted, intelligent people, it strikes me how normal and how real they are. They really aren’t as different from us as many might think. They are regular guys who want the exact same thing that many of us in the U.S. want. They are educated, many with Masters Degrees, they are insecure, nervous, confident, and most of all they are there to grow and succeed. We ask them many questions about a particular case study and dig down deep into their psyche to figure out if they are the “right fit” for the program. This is a bunch of boring OMD or OB stuff.

Today one of the candidates who didn’t have a great interview left me very impressed with one of his answers to a question that my colleague asked him. I was impressed and I was left in awe. It might not seem that different, but in a very male dominated society that rarely talks about or mentions Mom or Wife, this man did just that. We asked him who in his life had had the most positive effect on him and made him the man he was today, he paused and thought for a moment and through very poor spoken English he simply uttered the phrase, "Mom, my Mom."

Mom’s can be difficult some times as can our Mothers-in-law, but in the end our moms are the ones who carried us for 9 months, suckled us, changed our dirty diapers, cleaned our scraps and bruises, got us ready for our first day of school, held us when we hurt, taught us to hold a fork and knife and feed ourselves, supported us when we had our recitals concerts, saw us off to our first date, stayed up all night wondering when we’d come home from that first date, worried for us when we were doing things wrong in our lives, prayed for us to stop doing those things, reached out for us when we were down, fought for us when we were loosing the fight, took us in when we had no where else to go, and the list could on forever.

It was a pleasant surprise to hear that a man’s mom was his inspiration. I’ll add my thoughts that my mom helped make me the man I am today. I knew it before I left for Saudi, but being here and hearing a Saudi man say that made me realize that we’re really not that different.

Talk to you soon

Evan

Waking up to the daily unsolicited alarm, not my alarm clock

For months now I’ve been sleeping in! I’ll own up to the fact, I have been sleeping in! I simply had no major reason to wake up early every day. I’m blessed with a rocking wife who will wake up and get the kids ready for school and let me sleep. I’m a lazy person on vacation. 

Now I find myself having to get up every morning to be to work by 7:00 a.m. and to boot I’m in a foreign country which makes my mind work harder due to language barriers, work load and general new job things. Getting up still isn’t easy, however now I have been given an unsolicited alarm at about 5:00 a.m. or so every morning. I say unsolicited because I don’t have to set it or worry if it’s going to go off or not. It’s the daily Muslim morning call to prayer. Living in Saudi Arabia is a new experience for me not just in the culture and language areas, but also in the uncompromising habits and dedications area.

For Muslims the daily call to prayer is an un-compromising habit. Many do it out of habit but larger portions do it out of devotion and dedication. We westerners could learn a thing or two from this, but I’ll get to this later on. Muslims are for the most part very devout in their daily prayers. They take time every day to pray in the morning, during the day (at least three times) and one last time at sundown. That is a total of 5 times at least and they are not simple “pray in a quiet secluded place” type of prayers, they are prayers that are called out by the clerics and people are expected to go to the mosque or to stop where they are at and pray. I’ve seen people flocking to the mosque and I’ve seen people in the park by the sea role out their prayer rugs (not a requirement) and start to pray.

So what have I learned from this in the first 4 days that I’ve been here in Saudi? Well I have gleaned several lessons from this and they range from personal devotion to larger discipline lessons. If you’re not Muslim, Jewish or Christian, you can still learn from this action and this devotion. I happen to be a devout Christian of the LDS (Mormon) faith and here is what I have learned:

• I need to pray more often. I don’t spend enough time in supplication to my creator. I don’t mean to become a religious zealot but why can’t I spend a few more minutes a day seeking guidance from the almighty? After all I have 24 hrs and I give at least 10-15 to my co-workers, family and friends not to mention down time for myself where I veg. A few minutes for my God won’t hurt me, but it can help me.
• If your not religious or even a person of faith, the same lesson applies. Why not spend a few more minutes a day in meditation or quiet thought processing some of the challenging points of life and pondering ways to overcome the difficult and extenuate the positive. Some of the best and most important people in my life don’t have a faith that they follow or a belief system that they adhere to and I think that they would agree with me that taking a few minutes to put the world to the side and focus on how to make things better would help them and perhaps those around them.  
• The discipline of taking time out of your day to focus on personal improvement has its value. I might not agree with many of the ways people do things here, but I do appreciate that they are disciplined enough to put first things first! Whether that is your beliefs, your health or your family, you need to put First things First. Not to steal Stephen Covey’s words, but you need to put those things in your life that mean the most to you in first place or those things that will give you the greatest return on investment first. Believe me, those things aren’t money, or possessions.

 

I suppose that being woken up every day with a call to prayer isn’t so bad. I might not flock to the mosque or immediately fall to the ground and start supplication or even start meditation/yoga, but I will now start to work on my personal discipline and my personal devotion and focus more on what is important.

Oh hey, I hear the evening call to prayer from the many Mosques in the city, so till next time, I’m going to go focus on first things first

Evan
Dammam, Saudi Arabia

 

Coming to appreciate what I thought I appreciated

Wow what a way to come to appreciate what you have but don’t have. What I mean by that is that I’ve always appreciated what I’ve had due to the fact that I’ve lived outside the country in my life a few times so I’ve come to know that we as Americans are blessed, but I think we can become complacent with what we have if we’re not careful.

 

 

 

When I was a child I lived with my family in various countries in South America and then again when I was 19 I moved to Venezuela for two years. I came to appreciate the simple things in life that we enjoy in the U.S. such as tap water that you can drink, orderly and respectful drivers (excluding as a whole all of New York City), values, and food that won’t give you the heebee geebees. But having lived again in the U.S. for the past 20 years with a maximum of 3 days at any one point being out of the country, I believe that there are things that I again started to take for granted.

 

Why do I say this?

 

Last night I landed in Dammam, Saudi Arabia as a new arrival into the Kingdom. I took a job here as a Leadership Coach for the Saudi Electricity Company. The walk from the plane to the exit of the airport with my companions and colleagues was the longest walk I’ve ever had. When I got to my temporary living arrangements I realized some things can’t be hidden. When I went out today to various meetings and appointments, I wondered how long before I can be very open about me. So without giving more information, I want to share with you some of the things that I’ve come to appreciate in the last 24 hours that I thought I appreciated but realized I either had lost appreciation or had allowed it to become dull and hidden.

I appreciate more than ever:

 

• The US immigration and naturalization services and agents
• Good plumbing and clean sewer systems
• The freedom to be out in the open about life
• People who truly value their spouses, children and extended families
• Courteous and respectful language
• Hug and kisses from my kids when I’m feeling down
• The ability to reach out and feel my best friend and wife next to me
• People who say what they mean and mean what they say
• A good solid, comfortable bed
• Clean air
• People who you can know at a glance

 These are just some of the things that in the past 24 hours I’ve come to re-appreciate more than I thought.

  

I guess what I’m saying is stop and smell the roses a bit more and take a moment and look around to see what you really have and then thank God that you have it. If you don’t believe in God then just give thanks to nature or to Karma or just simply pay it forward.

 

Till next time