Sunday, January 24, 2010

Mom Still Matters Even in Saudi!

I’ve been working the last two days doing interview assessments with the “HiPo” or high potential candidates for Saudi Electricity Company. These are the top 200 or so candidates out of 30,000 employees who have been nominated by their superiors to be accepted into the HiPo program for leadership coaching and developing. I still have a full 6 days of evaluation to perform on a total of 30 more candidates and my team is just one of 6 teams doing this work.

As I sit in assessment of these candidates who are talented, gifted, intelligent people, it strikes me how normal and how real they are. They really aren’t as different from us as many might think. They are regular guys who want the exact same thing that many of us in the U.S. want. They are educated, many with Masters Degrees, they are insecure, nervous, confident, and most of all they are there to grow and succeed. We ask them many questions about a particular case study and dig down deep into their psyche to figure out if they are the “right fit” for the program. This is a bunch of boring OMD or OB stuff.

Today one of the candidates who didn’t have a great interview left me very impressed with one of his answers to a question that my colleague asked him. I was impressed and I was left in awe. It might not seem that different, but in a very male dominated society that rarely talks about or mentions Mom or Wife, this man did just that. We asked him who in his life had had the most positive effect on him and made him the man he was today, he paused and thought for a moment and through very poor spoken English he simply uttered the phrase, "Mom, my Mom."

Mom’s can be difficult some times as can our Mothers-in-law, but in the end our moms are the ones who carried us for 9 months, suckled us, changed our dirty diapers, cleaned our scraps and bruises, got us ready for our first day of school, held us when we hurt, taught us to hold a fork and knife and feed ourselves, supported us when we had our recitals concerts, saw us off to our first date, stayed up all night wondering when we’d come home from that first date, worried for us when we were doing things wrong in our lives, prayed for us to stop doing those things, reached out for us when we were down, fought for us when we were loosing the fight, took us in when we had no where else to go, and the list could on forever.

It was a pleasant surprise to hear that a man’s mom was his inspiration. I’ll add my thoughts that my mom helped make me the man I am today. I knew it before I left for Saudi, but being here and hearing a Saudi man say that made me realize that we’re really not that different.

Talk to you soon

Evan

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi Evan-The job sounds interesting. I knew it would be right up your alley. In talking with my counterparts in Cairo and Dehli and trying to understand some of what they say and vis versa- I can only imagine what it is like sitting in a room daily interviewing the people you are working with. Take care my friend!

Letty said...

You're right...mom's (and mother in laws ha ha) can be very difficult. I think as I experience motherhood for myself I realize the strength and the goodness that I received from my mom and am lucky enough to pass down to my kids too.
I absolutely love the picture of the sunrise. --Almost makes me wish I was there--

عبد العزيز بن صالح الطعيمي said...

In my opinion- being a Saudi- we are not a Male dominant community. Rather, we are a more balanced one. Knowing deeper the relations and interactions between men and women in our community can illustrate this. We pay the highest respect to Mothers both religiously and socially. A very unacceptable guilt is to upset one’s Mother. More, women are encouraged to stay at home in order to take care and grow kids and men are solely responsible for disburse of the whole family even if the woman is working. This does not mean that the woman is not a responsible person. She is the main responsible person of the home for growing up kids insuring their heath and even safety and bestow the man with a pleasant home after a tough working day. For me, I always seek the opinion of my wife of various matters and usually we make the decision together (sometimes she dictate)
This is in a nutshell. It takes books to clarify the constitution of our families and how we share respect and responsibilities.
I know that what some people will be surprised with what I said because they only know our community from the media which is not always fair and clear.
I would be more than happy to discuss this with everybody through my email:
altuaimi@gmail.com

Aziz

Mrs. Thoughtskoto said...

I remember some Saudi women from Dammam told me that before the families arrange for the marriage of their daughter and son it is the mother who can first look at the face of the girl that her son will marry, and on the girl's side it is the mother who decides if the girl should marry him. And they believe mother knows the best and has the right to choose who their child will marry. It may not always be the case to all Saudi families but majority of the conservatives practice this.